Have you ever been content? Happy? Comfortable? I hadn't been for a long long time. Even though I had a really crummy time last week, I am for the first time happy. I get this feeling of total happiness at the most random times. Well I guess they are total random times, but usually when I am walking around outside. After almost 7 months living here in New Orleans, I get this rush of "oh my god I am in New Orleans, and I LIVE here" I had this happen on Saturday several times when I was down in the Quarter, and then again today as I was walking down St. Charles. There is just something magical and wonderful about this city. It pulls you in, wraps you up, and doesn't let go. I know some people who don't really "get" the city, and thats fine....but for those lucky enough, we do. Its the people, the food, the music, the atmosphere, yes even the stink. I have been told by several people, "you really are happy here aren't you?" Yes I am. I don't think it ever occured to me that a location could do this to me. Its just a piece of the puzzle for me that is coming together...a step toward pulling everything in my life together. It was a mighty big piece. So even though I have those awful, horrid days (or week) I need to remember where I am, and how happy it makes me.

Today is an endless one after the other bad things. At least that is how it feels right now. And its only 10:22 AM. Doesn't make me want to finish out this day. I want to go home and crawl into bed and sleep. Its not THAT bad....maybe just annoyances happening. First of all...they are testing the fire alarm here in the building. It will go on for 4 hours. We just finished hour 1. I think I may have a mental breakdown just because of that. My desk is right by one of the alarms. And the front part of the office echos. Which makes answering the phones just peachy when you can't hear who people are asking for. My head is killing me...and you never know when its gonna go off. So I am constantly jumping about a foot each time. Carrie has told me that she is leaving work early....which means no ride home. Which royally sucks because well...I didn't bring any extra $$ for the streetcar ride home....and I am low on funds as it is. Yes a $1.25 is alot right now to me. I am hoping one of the girls from work that live by me can give me a ride home. Otherwise...I am screwed. On that note...I am suppose to attend a tea tomorrow for a co-worker since she is getting married on the 12th. So the girls here at work decided it would be nice to do a work group function for her....however instead of work paying for it, we all have to chip in. And then I get an email about chipping in for the wedding present gift. I don't have the $$ for either now. Hell I am so broke I don't have money for groceries right now. Thats right.....I am royally screwed with $$ this month. I can't get Publicis to send me my W-2...they sent it to the wrong address. So they were going to resend it. At least that is what I was told on the 10th of this month. I have yet to see it, and its coming from Dallas. And now no one is responding to my emails. Lets see what else royally sucks about today? Oh yeah...the clients and the vendors are especially mean today. My left eye, the one that I had surgery on last year, well its been kinda bugging me. All last weekend I had a headache right behind that eye. today it feels as though something is in the outer corner...and its all red. Yes I need to go see an eye doctor here. But again see the no $$ category to pay for the co-pay portion of the appointment. I do get paid on Monday...so that will be okay soon....its just waiting out these last final days that will suck. I hope. I have rent....and Liza is getting spayed....and I need to get my plane ticket to go see my parents in Arizona. Luckily all I need to do for that is pay $28 to get 1000 more miles so its not like ton of money. Once there, I won't be shelling out a lot of money because I will be staying with my sister, and hopefully mom and dad can spoil me a bit. They already bought my tickets to the spring training games!! thats a bright spot. Now lets just hope I can go. My main boss Catherine...her last day is tomorrow. We don't have anyone hired to replace her yet. So I don't know. I just want to go home.

Well its another Monday. This month has been flying by!! I guess that is a good thing. I am looking foward to spring time here in NOLA...not only the fantastic festivals coming up (French Quarter Fest and Jazz Fest) but actually being here and having a spring for once instead of the rainy spring. Although one of the security guards here at work says it usually rains alot in March. Its time for me to start making some big changes in my life. There is something that I have been avoiding, and it has reared its ugly head once again. Its time for me to tackle this head on and stop trying to avoid it. Its not going to go away, and in fact it will just get worse until I face it. I don't really feel like saying here what it is, its something that I have to take care of on my own...I got myself into it, I got to get myself out of it. Its not fun, but not that uncommon. But I need to take care of it so I can fully be happy and get this great weight off my shoulders.

I am a dork. Really. I was just over at classmates.com and contacted an old teacher. She was really cool and my drama teacher my senior year. I had the best time in that class. So I thought I would see what she was up too. The last time I saw her, it was 1994, and she had a bunch of personal crap happen. Her husband had been stabbed, and then started an affair with his nurse. Something like that. She is now remarried.

I can't wait for my birthday now. No real moments of panic lately. That is good. My best friend Michelle is coming!! I haven't seen her in oh...jeez 2 years? Yeah 2 years. I just haven't been back to Montana in awhile, and she hadn't made it to Seattle. And she always has so much going on. She has 3 boys (I can't believe Austin is going into HS next year) and was going through a nasty divorce. Which she is still dealing with. She is most likely having to sell the house to give Stacey (yes her ex husband's name is Stacey as well) the $$ he is asking for. But on the upside, she is engaged to be married. Again. This will be number 3. I have met Carl, and am really hoping that this will be it. He is a nice guy, and from what I have seen from him, he is nothing like the previous 2. The story of the first hubby is long and awful, and ended with her and the two oldest boys staying at my house several times because of some not nice things he did. And Stacey was way moodier than I am...and thats saying alot. Cuz I am moody as hell. I am hoping to get back to Montana in the fall. Go and see some football. That would be nice.

I was going to stay home all weekend. Wasn't going to move. I did run up to the store to get some food, since I was out. Watched a movie. Took a nap, with Liza spread out over my neck/chest area. She didn't leave my side most of the afternoon. (oh but i did find out that she has been going outside!! my new roomie has been opening the windows in the library and she has been climbing out onto the roof/balcony. Not sure how I feel about that) Anyway...finally after watching a movie I decided to shower finally, it was about 9:30. I got out to the streetcar and waited for about 20 mins...the entire time thinking "what am I doing? just stay home go to bed" I was having some terrible cramps as well....but I decided to just "tough" it out. And boy, I am sure glad I did now. When I got to Donna's, they were on their first break. Leroy was standing right by the door and gave me a hug, he introduced me to the drummer that has been filling in for Harry, while Art is out. I then saw Katya sitting at a table right up front with Carol and DeeDee. I had met Carol and DeeDee the first time I went to Donna's and they both just are the nicest ladies....both lawyers and love to hang out at Donna's. I sat with them, and pretty soon Craig came over to say hi. Right before the next set started the door opened, and in walked Bert Cotton. He hung out for a few songs and then popped back in later in the night. Leroy had 7 people up there playing with him. Bruce ( i think that is his name) he plays clarinet on the Storyville Stompers/NONC cds, Craig, Gerald on drums, the asian bass player whose name I am not gonna attempt to spell, Leroy, Paul on piano, and the guy who plays guitar on New Orleans Helsinki Connection. By the end of the night there were 10 people up there playing, it was so cool. Katya kept saying "there are more musicians here than regular people" Lucien even showed up for the last set...while he didn't play, I did get a bit of the "gay" Lucien from him....and he was dancing around like crazy. I finally left around 3, and Katya kept saying "why do you have to leave...your sleeping all day tomorrow" She is a trouble maker, but a fun one! On my way home I decided the best way was to walk down Bourbon, more people , to get to the streetcar. I had walked that way to Donna's but when I got close to Big TI, I went around...didn't want to see Jason. However on the way home...I went past...and he was actually working. I hadn't seen him all during MG, and in fact hadn't seen him in about a month. He said he had been working in the bar next door bar backing (its owned by the same people) he was back to being his flirty self, that I told him he couldn't do anymore. Guess he forgot about that. Thats annoying. Oh well.

The post Mardi Gras let down has begun. Its all over, everyone has gone home, the clean up has begun. On the bright side, at least I am still here in NOLA. I always hated that feeling when leaving here. It had to be one of the worse feelings in the world. I realized last Saturday that I have been here for 6 whole months! The time has just flown by, it usually does when your having fun. And yet while I am still having fun, I have had some more moments of panic. Nothing serious. Just the turning 30 blues I guess. I had put a pressure on myself when I was younger, and its slightly resurfacing. What I mean is, my parents were married young. 16 and 18. Yes they were that young...my sister was born very soon after, hence, the wedding. My parents are about to celebrate 32 years of marriage on March 3. That is a number I just can't fathom spending with someone. Its amazing, wonderful and special for them to have married so young, to have lasted, and to still be in love. Then there is my sister is getting ready to celebrate her 8th wedding anniversary. OMG is that possible?? She was 23 when she married. I just have to stop and wonder everyonce in awhile if I will ever find that kind of happiness. I really did think that by the time I reached 30, I would be married and would have kids. That just isn't the way my life is going, and right now I am having so much fun, it hasn't been a factor. But like I said, everyonce in awhile, I find it bubbling back up to the surface. While I was in Seattle, I was much more lost...and now that I have moved here, I have been able to find a part that was missing. And someday, who knows when...the rest should follow. I can't do anything to make it happen, just to continue to live, to have fun, to enjoy and to be me. So bring it on 30, lets see what you got. I have 6 more months till its that time...and I am gonna make sure its a ton of fun. And what a party it will be.

Since I typed it all out on connick.com I thought I would put the MG tales here too. I have been here now for 6 months. Realized that on Saturday when talking to Joe, Henry and Andrea!
Thursday night kicked off the fun and exciting times. I went home to get some warm clothes and then back out to the parades. I decided to take the streetcar up to Napoleon, where it stops when the parades roll. I was trying to get there in time for the first parade, however when I got there the last float was rounding the corner onto St. Charles. Float #21. My co-worker was on float #10. So I started walking. I caught up to it pretty quickly, but couldn't get his attention. I decided since I was almost to work at that point to go up there. Its actually about 2 miles from where I started walking to where I ended. Out by my office, and by the time I got there, the parade was just passing. Of the first parade. The first float. I walked the whole length of the parade!!! We had fun with the first parade, my co-worker and I caught a ton o beads from our co-worker who was riding. We were able to get his attention this time, thanks to John Gros who has a very loud yelling voice. The next parade was actually kinda boring....so Kelly, Adam and I decorated Eric's office with all the beads he rained down on us. After the parades, I got a call from Lisa! Her and Mike were on their way from the airport. So I ran up to meet them, they had some dinner and we chatted a bit. While we were waiting for the street car to come by so I could go home, this very nice, innocent girl walked up to us and said "Pardon me for the interuption, but where the f**k is Bourbon street??" One of the funniest things I heard all weekend. The next day was Friday, and I got to sleep in!! I met Lisa and Mike for lunch at Voo Doo BBQ, then we walked back to the Quarter. Various little parades were going on, and this one went by on Royal Street in the mule-drawn carriges. We were thinking, "who are all these people?" and this guy that looked vaguely familiar, tossed some cups straight to Mike (who really did attract lots of attention with the cowboy hat) and right as they were moving down the street...I realized who it was! It was Thom for Queer Eye!!! It was actually all the celebs riding in Endymion (Gene Simmons, Thom, Marisa, Willie Garson (stanford from Sex and the City), and Sean Williams Scott) but all I saw was Thom....Lisa and I took off running down the street to try to catch up, but they were turning onto Canal. It was awesome. We then went and saw Tracy and Christine who had just arrived. We all then wandered around a bit, and then Tracy and Christine went to go eat. I then decided to take Lisa and Mike to my favorite bar. We were there for awhile, and that is where Tracy, Christine, Dia, Randy and their krewe all met us. We then took "the worlds longest walk" (according to some) back to my office to watch the parades. It was a crazy fun night as ALL my co-workers were out there too. They had a party upstairs then all came down for the parades. Some of the girls witnessed me getting fired, rehired, fired, and rehired. After the first parade rolled through we all kind of seperated. Tracy and I walked up to HOB where we saw John Gros play the big room, then back out to Ugly Dog Saloon to see Gayle and Hank. Lisa, Mike and Christine were already there. Saturday was spent cleaning my apartment like a mad lady, picking up Donna at the airport, then driving around for an hour 45 mins waiting for Andrea's plane to arrive. LOL After we got back to my place, Sam showed up and we all went up to the Endymion parade. We didn't actually stay for the whole parade as it started rolling past us a 4:45 pm and as of 7:15 only float 7 was passing us. They delayed the parade for an hour and a half (on top of the break downs) cuz they couldn't get into the Superdome until 9. So a group of us headed back to my house where we ate king cake, played with my kitty Liza and gabbed. Around midnight the party broke up, Andrea and I met up with Joe and Henry at Howlin Wolf to catch the PGF set. It was great to meet up with them and get to hear some fantastic funky NOLA music. Sunday was spent, eating, walking, shopping and then off to Gayle and Hank's for their wonderful open house and of course a litte Super Bowl viewing. We all then ran down to the Riverwalk area to watch Bacchus roll through. Either Carrie or Lisa made the mistake of telling me how the night before this lady kept yelling "Ya know your sassy" to the bands. Well I started doing it. Every band. I think Hank started yelling it at one point. It would crack up some of the colorguard's. We were right at the end where the parade rolled into the convention center, and by the time it got there Sean Austin who was on the first float was in a "good mood" He had a big ole wine goblet and just kept yelling into the mic "Bacchus loves you" I don't think he threw anything. However Randy later gave me a doubloon that he may have thrown. The day of the ball arrived!!! We decided to head down early enough to get some good parking. Andrea, Donna, Adam and Carrie all had to get their tickets from will call so we headed first to the convention center. We then had lunch next door to the Howlin Wolf. This was the point that I decided that I was not going to stay to see CM. There was a good crowd there already (around 1) and they weren't playing till 4 or 4:30. I just couldn't see doing that and getting to the ball in time to see Bonerama. A few of us hung out for the press conference it was cool to see BTE, Sawyer Brown, and Toby Keith up close..oh and Harry's dad!! Lisa and I swear that Toby kept looking in our direction because he thought Mike was Kenny Chesney. Then it was time to get ready for the ball. Lisa, Mike, Tracy and I were there about 6:30ish and the lines were long to get in already. I kid you not, the second we handed our tickets to the people at the door....Bonerama started playing. You should have seen us run to our tables and throw our stuff down and then up to the stage!!! It was pretty darn funny. They sounded awesome, incredible, and down right fantastic. It was so awesome to see them up on that stage!!! Their hour flew by way to fast!!! After they were done, most everyone from connick.com was there, so we all started hanging out by the tables and getting ready for the parade to roll through. There is nothing like seeing 5000 people in ball gowns and tuxes screaming for beads!!! Gayle and Hank didn't see us until after they passed, but we did get to see them after they got to their table. Sawyer Brown took to the stage right after the parade, and I ran up front for a few songs. They were entergetic as usual, just a fun addition. BTE came up after Earl Turner and they too were fantastic. A certain Toby Keith....well he never made it up on stage to play. I hear it was cuz he was too drunk. They had also started announcing that Sammy Hagar was there and would be playing with Toby....we never saw him either. Oh well.....I still had a great time, dancing, singing, drinkin and playin. It was about 5 AM when we got back to my place. I slept for about 2 hours......Then it was time to head out the door and get over to Lisa's room to get ready for St. Anne. We were a little worried because they told us 10, and when we got there right before 10, there were no signs of Craig or Leroy...we thought they were gonna leave without them!!! Finally we saw Craig...and I couldn't stop laughing!!!! pink tutu and a pink sparkly vest. It was very cute!!! Leroy did wear the same costume, however it was the last year. There seemed to be so many more people there than the first year we did this! It was cool. When Lisa and Tracy realized that the parade was going by their hotel, we took off ahead of everyone and watched them pass from the balcony. The sight of all these people coming down Charters was sooooo cool!! It was about then that we decided showers changing and napping were a good idea. However it took me from 1:30ish until 4:30ish to get home. I walked and walked and walked looking for an empty cab.....it was insane. After a quick nap, I headed back to the quarter where we tossed beads and went and saw some of the Bourbon Street craziness. I thought it was good that I found a cab without an hour wait....however the cabbie was falling asleep when he was driving me home...I think he was drunk. It was super scary. At least when I was falling asleep on the street car this morning, I wasn't driving!!! Every leg and foot muscle aches, I have no voice, and am super tired it is is more than worth it. It was sooooo great to see everyone who came down!!! And to meet some new people!!! Rebecca (sassyassy) and her hubby are soooooo nice!!!! I think next year will be just as good. ut at connick.com I thought I would just cut and paste the MG adventures here.

I am hoping by starting this right now....Allison will actually come up and let me go take my lunch break....and soon. I want to go and brave the rain to get a MO for rent. It is suppose to be raining here until tomorrow afternoon. It started last night. Ugh. I guess its better now than next Monday!! Okay...I did get to go out at lunch. Why did I bother taking an umbrella??? My shoes, my rain jacket, my pants, my glasses, and last but not least my freakin socks got soaking wet. I am now sitting here with wet shoes and socks. I hate that feeling. Oh and my semi-good hair day is now disengrated into a full on bad hair day. If the dang wind wasn't blowing it wouldn't be so bad. Even worse?? The line where I get my MO was way to long...there is no way I would have been able to get through that line in the 10 mins I had available to wait. This 1/2 hour lunch break kinda sucks. Oh well...what are ya gonna do? Oh...and my salad was just nasty as all get out. So I had a fun bag of Doritos for lunch. I am so ready to go home, put on my sweats and clean. Okay I don't really want to do the cleaning part...but it has to happen tonight. Tomorrow is Muses, and I really want to see that parade. Thursday, its Adam's birthday and we are still up in the air about what we are doing....then well...after that I won't have time to clean. And I can't have everyone coming over on Saturday see a messy house. Oh and Liz's first guest shows up on Thursday. So it has to be clean. Fun. Its not that it a messy mess....but it could really do with a good once over.